Initially, divorce can be devastating to all parties involved. The key is to move on afterward. While moving on is probably easier said than done, do not give up hope. You are capable of more than you may realize. Once the divorce process is finalized and you have said goodbye to your divorce lawyer, take some time to follow these key steps to rebuild your life after divorce.
1. Grieve
The first, and possibly most important step is to allow yourself to feel the pain of the divorce. While some people will do this step naturally, others may have trouble allowing themselves to feel the full emotional impact of a divorce. When you cut yourself off from your feelings, you cannot truly move on. Before trying any of the following steps, make sure you have already allowed time for a grieving period.
2. Turn to Friends
It is natural to feel lost and alone after a divorce, but there are plenty of people in your life who care about you. Let these people into your life. Without strong support from friends and family, you may have trouble transitioning from married life to single life. If you have other friends who are single, they can be big assets to you, especially if they have gone through their own divorces. It is important to remember that others have also experienced what you are currently going through.
3. Get the Help of A Professional
Seeking the help of a professional, such as a therapist, should absolutely be an option for you. Do not ever think you are being weak by accepting the assistance of a professional. It always helps to sit and talk with someone, especially if that person has experience helping people in your particular situation.
4. Rediscover Yourself
If you had to make big sacrifices during your marriage that changed the way you see yourself, you should try to rediscover who you once were. It may not be that drastic a change, but it can help you move on to single life. Start working to find the person you were before you met your spouse, even if that means something small like picking up a lost hobby or something big like going back to school. Remember that it is never too late to learn something new or rediscover an old passion. A good way to track your progress is by keeping a daily journal.
5. Be OK With Being Alone
Chances are you have not had much alone time during your marriage. Being OK with being alone can be a challenge at first. However, once you are more comfortable being alone with your own thoughts, you will have taken a huge step forward toward your new found independence.
6. New Friends
Now it is time to get out there and meet new people. Finding a new group of friends who suit your new lifestyle is extremely important. New friends can help you grow as a person and adapt to your new life.
7. Start Dating
Dating is important, but do not rush into this step. You need to be sure that you are ready to start new relationships before you begin seeing people. Make sure you are emotionally capable of dating someone before you take this step. It will not be easy, especially if it has been a long time since your last date, but it can be extremely rewarding.
8. Finances
Independence from your spouse also means being financially independent. Get your finances in order and you can create a new life for yourself. Set new financial goals or set money aside for new adventures. Whatever you do, make sure you are prepared for whatever your new life throws your way.
If you are going through a divorce or are thinking about getting a divorce, contact the divorce lawyers at Villani & DeLuca. Contact a representative at Villani & DeLuca 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at [dyna_phone phone=’1′ format=’dashed’].
